Obituaries & Messaging
Learn how to announce a death, write an obituary, prepare a eulogy, and share someone’s story with clarity, care, and respect.
Finding the Right Words
Sharing news of a death and describing a person’s life can feel overwhelming, especially when decisions must be made quickly. Different messages serve different purposes. A death notice communicates essential facts, an obituary tells more of the person’s story, and a eulogy is written to be spoken at a funeral or memorial.
There is no single correct way to remember someone. A tribute may be formal, warm, humorous, reflective, or very brief. What matters most is that it is accurate, respectful, and true to the person being remembered.
On this page
Types of Messages
Death notices, obituaries, and eulogies are related, but they are not interchangeable. Understanding what each one is meant to accomplish can make the writing process easier.
Death Notices
A death notice is a brief public announcement. It generally provides essential facts such as the person’s name, age, date of death, and information about a funeral, memorial, or other gathering.
Obituaries
An obituary combines an announcement of death with a short account of a person’s life. It may include family relationships, work, service, interests, accomplishments, values, and meaningful memories.
Eulogies
A eulogy is a spoken remembrance shared at a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life. It usually focuses on a few stories or qualities that help listeners remember the person as they lived.
Writing a Death Notice
- Full name, including a maiden name or commonly used nickname
- Age and place of residence
- Date of death
- Funeral, memorial, visitation, or burial information
- Where condolences, flowers, or donations may be sent
- A funeral home or family contact, when appropriate
Death Notice or Obituary?
A death notice communicates the essential facts. An obituary usually includes those facts along with a fuller account of the person’s life. A family may publish either one or use both.
What to Include in an Obituary
Not every obituary needs every detail. Use these categories as a checklist, then include the information that feels appropriate for the person, family, and place of publication.
Basic Information
Include the person’s full name, commonly used name, age, residence, and date of death.
Life Summary
Mention important places, education, work, military service, volunteer work, or major life experiences.
Interests & Values
Describe the interests, traditions, beliefs, humor, or personal qualities that made the person recognizable.
Family & Relationships
Name close relatives and other important people, while respecting the family’s preferences and privacy.
Service Information
Provide the date, time, location, and attendance details for any funeral, memorial, visitation, or reception.
Closing Details
End with donation information, expressions of gratitude, a meaningful quotation, or another personal closing.
A Practical Obituary Structure
An obituary does not need to follow a rigid formula, but this order provides a dependable starting point.
1. Announce the Death
State the person’s name, age, residence, and date of death. Include the cause or circumstances only when the family chooses to share them.
2. Describe the Life
Summarize important places, relationships, work, service, interests, accomplishments, and experiences.
3. Add Personal Detail
Include a characteristic, habit, story, quotation, or memory that helps the reader recognize the person.
4. Name Close Family
List surviving and previously deceased relatives according to the family’s preferences and the available space.
5. Give Final Information
Add service details, donation requests, acknowledgments, or instructions for sharing condolences and memories.
Review Before Publishing
Ask at least one other person to check names, relationships, dates, locations, service details, and spelling. Also confirm that everyone named is comfortable having potentially sensitive information published.
Writing Your Own Obituary
Some people choose to write their own obituary or leave detailed notes for someone else to complete. Doing so allows you to decide which parts of your story matter most and can reduce the number of decisions others must make after your death.
The document does not need to be polished or ready for publication. You can prepare a list of names, dates, relationships, accomplishments, interests, stories, and preferences. Leave space for someone to add the date of death and final service information.
Preparing a Eulogy
A eulogy does not need to summarize an entire life. Choose two or three stories, qualities, or themes that show what the person meant to others. A focused and sincere tribute is usually more memorable than a long list of dates and accomplishments.
Write in the way you naturally speak. Short sentences are easier to deliver aloud, especially when emotions are strong. Print the eulogy in large, readable type, mark places where you want to pause, and rehearse it several times.
- Introduce yourself and your relationship to the person.
- Choose a central quality, theme, or memory.
- Tell one or two specific stories.
- Explain what the person taught or gave to others.
- End with a brief farewell, quotation, or expression of gratitude.
Speaking the Eulogy
Speaking while grieving is difficult. Prepare the page and the setting so that you do not have to rely on memory or composure alone.
Bring a Printed Copy
Use large type, wide spacing, and numbered pages. Avoid reading from a phone if possible, since notifications and screen locking can create problems.
Slow Down
Speak more slowly than feels natural. Pause after important sentences and allow listeners time to absorb the words.
Prepare a Backup
NOT JUST AN EXTRA COPY– Ask another person to be ready to continue or read the eulogy for you if speaking becomes too difficult.
Digital Memorials & Announcements
Families now commonly announce deaths, share service information, and collect memories online. Digital communication can reach people quickly, but it also requires careful decisions about accuracy, privacy, and who should speak for the family.
Ways to Share Online
Choose the format that fits the family’s needs and the audience being contacted.
Social Media Announcement
A brief family-approved post can announce the death and direct readers to accurate service or memorial information.
Online Obituary
Funeral homes, newspapers, and memorial websites may publish an obituary with photographs, service details, and a guestbook.
Memorial Page
A dedicated page can collect photographs, stories, condolences, donation information, and updates in one place.
Virtual Gathering
Livestreams and video gatherings can include people who cannot attend a funeral or memorial in person.
Pause Before Posting
Confirm the facts and speak with close family before announcing a death online. Avoid publishing private addresses, account information, travel plans, or other details that could create safety or identity-theft risks.
Managing a Digital Legacy
Online accounts, photographs, social profiles, memorial pages, and other digital materials may need attention after a death. The Digital Legacy Association provides public information about digital assets and digital remembrance.